June 12, 2017    *Adult Content*


I finally fell asleep last night after believing insomnia would be the death of me. Nestled within a pocket of nature, lacking street or artificial lights, our room was dark and peaceful, but I remained awake with my eyes closed.

Last night we made love three times. It was beautifully painful.. or painfully beautiful. Like steam trapped in a boiling pot, my feminine energies rose to the top, bubbling until the lid was lifted and the heat desperately dispersed into space. Tears fell as the energy evaporated.

We haven’t been this alone in months, and it was like I was holding my breath under water for too long before finally coming up for air..

I was grateful when Eric didn’t stop when my body was taking its time to respond. All of the particles and cells within me seemed to be existing independently, carrying out their own tasks… Then one by one they became aroused, started stirring, and became magnetically aware. Then they were harmonizing.

At first I felt it in my roots, and the energy spread like fire to my cheeks and face, then my mind, then my emotions… and I wept.

“Life should be lived to the point of tears.” -Albert Camus

* * *

Now it’s morning, and I sit at the wooden table writing. The sounds are like yesterday. I could get use to this tranquility.

Eric prepared toast with butter and honey. And hot coffee. I saw a curious, black cat. Her steps were so stealthy. I wouldn’t have sensed her presence if I wasn’t constantly looking up to absorb everything around us.

Butterflies.. the yellow ones were dancing.. fluttering around each other in circles, mesmerizing each other, hypnotizing us. It was like the male was saying, “Dance with me.”

“We are dancing,” she replied..

“No. Dance with me, not around me.”

He continued to flatter her with his flutters before she floated on to a flower that distracted her from their dance.

A tiny yellow bird… it comes here for the banquet of nectar served from the bright, scooping petals of bird of paradise flowers. From our veranda, we witness symbiotic relationships, how it all comes together so beautifully like moving art.

And today… Today we will explore Ubud on a scooter. I’m scared, but I trust him. If I didn’t I wouldn’t ride with him. Ubud is known as the cultural and spiritual heart of Bali. It is home to rainforests, rice paddies, ancient sites, Hindu temples, and is the center for arts and Balinese dance.

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We will be together. Experiencing something new.

It’s a beautiful morning. It leads me to you, dear diary.

I’ll take a deep breath now.

Good morning.

* * *

It’s now afternoon. We wait in traffic with Mangku on our way to our next AirBnb in Canggu. We have passed many rice paddy fields, women carrying baskets of bamboo and wood on their heads, locals bathing in the river, and a monumental statue of Arjuna from the Mahabharata and Bhagavad Gita.

I have read the Bhagavad Gita and also a rendition of the Mahabharata from the female protagonist Draupadi’s perspective, so I enjoyed talking with Mangku about Arjun and his Pandava brothers who shared the same wife.

* * *

Eric and I really enjoyed exploring Ubud today on the scooter.

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We visited the Merta Harum Agro coffee plantation where the ingredients for coffees and teas are grown organically. Our guide escorted us through the lush gardens and showed us the coffee plants, fruit trees, and spices. He then explained the process for making Luwak coffee, which is considered one of the most expensive coffees in the world.


After a pineapple plant flowers, it takes the fruit six more months to mature.


The traditional roasting process for Luwak coffee takes place over an open fire. The coffee beans are grounded in a large mortar and pestle.


After the tour, Eric and I sat in a treehouse and sampled a variety of fourteen coffees and teas. Mangosteen, rosela, ginseng, cinnamon, saffron, ginger, lemon, and lemongrass flavored teas… Chocolate, vanilla, ginseng, coconut, white chocolate, and ginger flavored coffees. I liked the mangosteen and rosela teas the most. Eric favored the saffron tea. We both loved the coconut coffee. We ordered one Luwak coffee to share, just for the experience. The setting was serene and peaceful. A statue of Buddha sat beneath the trees over a koi pond.


After our coffee tour we pulled the scooter over at a random restaurant and shared lunch and a slice of milk crepe cake for dessert. I had a glass of chardonnay.

We spent the rest of the day looking at local art. We bought a handmade chopping board made from teak wood from Java for our new condo. We also bought a beautiful dreamcatcher. I got a pair of feather earrings for Lizzie and a pair for myself. Eric was so happy driving us around on the scooter. I can’t believe I get to be his passenger.


Ubud was artistic, peaceful, dreamy, and deeply spiritual. Each morning we were given gifts of inspiration. We are excited about Canggu. There’s so much more to see, taste, and feel. Now that we are comfortable on a scooter, we have the freedom to explore the island of Bali at our own pace and acquire a more authentic experience.

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It’s my last day of being in my 20s. I want to remember these enriching experiences. I want to channel my deepest gratitude. And so I write…






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